26 October 2009


Its Monday and I load up the kids for preschool in less than 30 minutes. This timeline allows me one precious stop on the way to the haven the children know as school (which mommy reveres as 3 hours of calm with only one child to worry about).

Anyway, we roll on down the road and pull into our Dunkin Donuts drive through for a treat for the kids and the required lifeline for all humans over the age of 25 on a monday morning - COFFEE.

Yep, Coffee - not a chocolattagratta halfcalf double tuckasoyalotta choo choo - COFFEE. Well, somehow the goob in front of me mistook PINK & ORANGE for GREEN & WHITE.

"Ummmm... I'll have a venti soy chai latte"
"We don't have that ma'am"
"Ummmm... I'll have a venti skinny Pumpkin Spice Latte no whip"
"We have pumpkin flavored coffee ma'am"
"Ummmm... well, do you have anything Pink?" (I am not making that up)

HOLY SHIT! It's dunkin donuts dumbass! Order a medium regular with cream and sugar and get the hell out of my way. You are cutting into my 3 hours of happy time which does NOT make me happy and endagers your life as you sit in your hippy-happy-bumper-sticker-slatherd-hybrid.
Don't get me wrong. When I want a Grande Triple Pumpkin Spice Latte I KNOW where to go - hell -- maybe I should have given her directions.


11 October 2009

Say When

Its been a while hasn't it? Well, as life catches up with you sometimes little extras drop to the sidelines.

I was thinking about limits yesterday when I was at the commissary on base. I watch as 300lb people pick up gallons of soda and pounds of potato chips, moms give into their toddlers just to get a moments peace... men grab every protein shake on the shelf and women stare aimlessly at the beauty counters.

It is amazing how at some point we all need to pull back and say ENOUGH! I'm walking through the aisle, and like me, there are plenty of other woman dragging multiple little ones behind them 2, 3 even 4. I ask myself -- would I ever want any more kids? Nope. Not even a second to come up with that answer. Don't get me wrong I love my children, but when two people make the personal choice to become a baby mill -- do they ever consider their children's feelings?

There are the Duggers we all know their choices -- and I think it is their example that makes me wonder or give the "side eye" as some would say.
aaaaand Like MandyBrownNoser says "its not my place to judge".

Anyway, as I'm walking through the dairy aisle I'm approached by a retiree looking for coffee creamer. He compliments my brood of minions and asks if we plan on having any more. He smiles and says

"My wife had seven"

I respond, "My husband had a vasectomy"

He laughs and says quietly -- "Good Idea!"