18 May 2015

Day 15 - Running on Empty

I haven't been avoiding writing, but when your computer crashes you tend to be left without a keyboard to pound out all your thoughts on.

This weekend was jammed pack. To the point where I couldn't keep track of what day it was.

Friday morning, I joined together with other members of our community to run in honor of fallen Law Enforcement Officers. There were only 7 of us present for the run, but hey that's 6 more than my usual number. I got to run with a friend of mine who's been working diligently to improve her health - and I have to say I couldn't be more proud of her.

Throughout that day at work I felt motivated and excited to be a part of something bigger than myself again. I've missed that since leaving the Army. Later that day I spent time with my neighbors and a new friend from the kids school. Our middle guy FINALLY finished a reader's wheel - and he did so with a much better attitude than we've dealt with before.

Saturday the kids and I woke early to work at the American Legion. We followed that up by running errands and joining some families from the command for a pot luck. We were with peers. People who said goodbye to their loved one the exact same time we did. It was nice to laugh about Murphy's shenanigans. Vent about communications or lack there of, and seek each others' strength on things we were working through.

Sunday was simple... and yet it concluded with a neighbor saving the day by grabbing smore supplies for us after we struck out at all the local spots.

Over the last two weeks we've been keeping busy. We've been dedicated to having a positive deployment. I've tried to hunt the good stuff...

 tonight? I'm tired. I miss my husband and his warmth. I miss him reminding me to SLOW DOWN. I miss his voice when he says "I'm proud of you." I don't sleep well in general, so without him here it only gets worse. I'll fill the quiet hours with some garbage TV... maybe I'll catch up on some reading...

Either way - I have good people and good things happening all around me. Even when the loneliness creeps in I can find solace in the fact that we will navigate through this absence. I will find strength  enough to keep running on fumes (caffeine), so I can make it to tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is one day closer to home.

XO XO & Stuff,


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