09 May 2016
Burn Out or Phoenix
I like to preach to people that admitting weakness is a sign of strength. I like to say that asking for help means you are ready to learn. I love helping others through tough times.
I'm currently fighting to agree with myself.
When people say burning the candle at both ends I think they've missed the people who light up a candelabra throw on some gasoline and blaze through life like a homecoming bonfire in a wind storm. I feel like kindling, and I'm getting burnt. Maybe that will be a part of my growth. To let go of yesterday to embrace our tomorrow.
Leaving NC was much harder than I'd anticipated. My middle dude hasn't made any new friends. I have gained a few acquaintances, and even bright spots like Mother's Day have me longing for "home". I'm pushing away any roots that try to take hold, and trying to drown out the lonliness with a high level of activity.
That being said - some of the changes are good. I'm back in the Army Reserve. Met some new Soldiers. I'm enjoying working with them (so far). I've entered a new civilian career field, Employee Benefits with Liberty National. I've passed my state licensing exam. I've got a 60 mile ruck march on the horizon, and we found a church we like.
I'm not sleeping.
I'm not hungry.
I'm not happy....
So there. I've put it out there. Lil miss "we can do it" is in a bit of a funk. I'll dig myself out, but it will take time, it will take effort and it will take acceptance.
Now that I've identified an issue I can face it.
Sweet. All better... well no not really, but it is a start.
Time to start putting down roots, volunteering, investing in my community and finding our forever. It may be a broad stroke solution for now, but I'm sure the details will come to me.
XO XO & Stuff,
Posted by Jinger Brinkley