16 November 2018

Picking it up... again

I am not a consistent blogger... I mean there are literally YEARS that go by that I don't write. I cannot really say why. Perhaps I get distracted, maybe I lost interest, perhaps somethings are too much to capture in words and I'd prefer to let the past capture them instead.

So, here is where we stand today.

The kids are doing well. Bubs is still getting As Kadee too. Luke is making his best effort and we are THRILLED with that. Oh... and he'll be getting glasses soon (and you'll be getting pics). We are in the throws of adolence and all that accompanies that. Pimples, pissy attitudes and pitty parties about chores and homework - but... we are also laughing more, thriving in our new community, and counting our blessings.

We've stepped away from federal govt life. I no longer work for fed and don't miss it for a second. I've started a new chapter working business operations for gas/oil, and we've opened two small businesses in addition to my art hobby.

Big Sexy is out exploring the world of natural gas and oil... I'm not thrilled that he is AWAY, but you don't know until you try right?

We are in a busy season, filled with blessings.

But what have I learned through all of this?

God. Is. Great.

I always thought I was smart. I was strong. I COULD DO IT - man oh man have the last few years taught me how wrong I was. I am in control of NOTHING. My ONLY purpose on this planet is to love people and when they ask why? God. Do the right thing. Why? God. Give generously and encourage constantly? Why? God.

There are lessons in every struggle. Every obstacle and that lesson is simple; trust Him.

I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm a child of God.

Xo Xo & Stuff,


20 August 2018

10 Ways Being a Military Spouse is Just Like High School

10. Ramen noodles just sound right for dinner

9. Your significant other plays video games... no no no... as in the same amount of time as a 16 year old

8. Bonfires, beer and BBQ are a great weekend

7. Cliques

6. There are times you eat pizza 3 days in a row

5. South Park (ugh)

4. You get excited about babysitting money

3. Neeeeeeeeeew Driver's License & ohhh goody you even get to take the test... again and again and again

2. You have team colors & Rivalries (GO ARMY!!!)

1. You still get all fired up for homecoming

If your butt hurts over this list please go look in the mirror and write OSMW over your face.

XO XO & Stuff,


24 March 2018

Swamp Bubbles

Image result for Saga of the Swamp Beast
Scooby Doo - Saga of the Swamp Beast
See that picture to the right? I'm Shaggy! Well, at least now I am.

Ok, so let's talk about my jump into the swamp and SWAMP BUBBLES. The swamp to me is any level of corporation or government when the ambition of the entity or individuals over-shadows integrity. I believe that a "swamp" is comprised of people working angles to get ahead. Go to a meeting, work around (not with) the opposition, get what their group wants done instead of finding common ground. Get ahead for their group or party. Get ahead for their organization, and at the end of the day get ahead for their own selfish reasons. In some areas, there are so many opportunities for personal advancement via contracts, federal positions, lobbying, that everywhere you look "opportunity" is knocking. While that may seem like a bastion of hope and  motivation, unfortunately we have the swamp.

In an environment pooling with avenues for MORE influence MORE access MORE power, a dirty little seed can get planted inside some people and the SWAMP BUBBLE begins to grow. Instead of seeing people as coworkers they are viewed as competition. Instead of taking someone at their word they take them down so they can climb higher or protect their perch. Instead of recognizing an asset they identify an adversary to their current position or future advancement.

This is the swamp, and SOME of the people in it are DEEP in the SWAMP BUBBLE. Their perception of others has been perverted for so long by selfish ambition (their own, or because they've been the victim of someone else), that they no longer treat people with dignity or even the benefit of the doubt. These people for whatever reason will manipulate a situation to their own advantage, they will fabricate small truths into large lies to damage professional reputations, and they will do so while convinced they are "doing what is right". (((doing what is right for who? and by what standards?)))

I have spent a very long time living in a simple bubble of "I am who I am"......I assumed that I had a similar work bubble and my bubble got BURST.

I Yam What I Yam taken from the movie Popeye made in 1980 starring: Robin Williams and Shelley Duvall - Songs written by Harry Nilsson

My bubble isn't unicorns and puppy kisses, its actually a pretty rigid place. This bubble? Integrity. Awareness of Strengths and Limitations (see Integrity), Communicate Clearly without Ulterior Motives (doggone it Integrity again), oh and believe in people before you don't believe in people aka TRUST. Inside my bubble lives a big personality, my personality is BIG because I know that I can stand behind my actions because.... Integrity and Trust.

Here is what ISN'T in my bubble. Ambition or Envy for anything anyone else has. I don't want your job. I don't want your influence. I don't want your money, house, kids (no seriously, I'm good), I don't even want your dog. Do I want to HELP YOU? Heck yes, and I don't even want any credit!! I just want you to feel awesome that some of the work got done.

A friend of mine's late husband had a simple saying "Do your *** Job". That is my work bubble. I do my *** Job. I don't care what that job is, I do it. You can work me into the ground, I will work. I thought that was the norm. I thought that was what professionals did. I was unaware that would be threatening behavior. I went to the swamp, and my bubble got burst. My eyes are open. BUT - don't worry. I have learned some valuable lessons.

1. Old sayings are true: No good deed goes unpunished
2. Its a good thing DOD taught me my email skills
3. MOST of my co-workers are the most amazing, virtue driven, compassionate people I have ever met. I am blessed to be in their company, and I know exactly who I can and cannot trust. 

Back to my Bubble!

XO XO and Stuff,


30 January 2018

Dear Kid in the Marines Sweatshirt, Victor Quinonez

Everyone is talking about that video you shot, actually videos. I'm sure you know which ones I'm referring to, but in-case someone in the general public skipped the "trending now" here's the short version...

This kid shows up to class wearing a shirt the teacher doesn't like (it says, Marines). The teacher then chooses to jump up on a soap box about how horrible the military is, how service members lack general intelligence - or are the product of bad parenting. How they lack discipline or ability to complete their mission. The videos, shot in a classroom - are dripping with profanity and general disdain for those who protect and serve - as well as anyone who would support them. Here's a link CLICK HERE

Ok so here is where I can go into a rant about how awesome the military is, and what a belligerent jerk the individual speaking on the video is; I could explain that MOST TEACHERS ARE AMAZING - but I'm not this guy...

Dear Victor

I'm sorry you are so uncomfortable in your SCHOOL that you feel you have to make a secret video in order to bring to light abuse in the classroom... but when a teacher who has been suspended before  just keeps coming back, I can understand why you did.

I'm angry and disappointed that so many of us who stand in the way of tyranny, have spent the better part of two decades fighting oppression in other hemispheres only to have it take root like a malignant tumor to the point students in our high schools are bullied by those who should be encouraging you to follow YOUR dreams - whatever those might be.

I'm sorry I knew this guy's name before yours. You are walking the hard road and are appreciated by countless Veterans and Service Members who BY THIS ACTION ON YOUR PART - have been defended against this individual's slander and lies.

I'm sorry no other adult in that building stood in the way. I'm sure this isn't his first tirade - and I'm sure it isn't a secret. You're a kid. The biggest thing you should have to worry about is getting your homework done, and a prom date, and annoying siblings.

I'm livid, disgusted, and heartbroken that your family's sacrifice and father's service have been disrespected in such a brutal way. The bearing you displayed - to receive that abuse - and NOT take the bait? You're stronger than I am.

I'm encouraged by your actions.  You stepped up. You sought help. You didn't keep silent. I'm going to tell my kids about you. You're a role model.

I'm hopeful there are more kids like you.

To the kid in the Marines Sweatshirt, 

Thank You. 

Jinger A. Brinkley
US Army Veteran

26 January 2018

Won't You Be My Neighbor - Uhhhh No.

So... just about 9 months ago we moved into a beautiful neighborhood. I would describe it to you, but going into a dissertation of suburbia is about as exciting as a root canal/pap smear combo and I really don't see why anyone would want to experience that  so we'll skip it. I trust you can imagine a bunch of pretty houses all lined up on a curvy street? Slap in some doggone palm trees because... Florida... and.... you got it. Good Moving on.

Well, somewhere along the last 12 years of military spouse marriage I forgot that I am an adult and under NO obligation to be friends with EVERYONE I meet. I mean... let me clarify as a military spouse there can be this weird thing when your husband is running around in foreign lands with their husband, you kind of feel this strange sense of loyalty even if you can't STAND the person - but here in this NEW world of civilian suburbia... those uhhhh "rules" didn't apply - BUT THAT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME. I made my merry way through the neighborhood attempting to foster relationships at every turn.

Let me tell you what I learned from that little escapade.

Never - ever - ever - compromise who you are. You WILL find your tribe, but if you manipulate your persona to try to fit in, than you will never really find the people you belong with. Why? Because people won't get to see/know the real you. Having the integrity to show your true colors can be painful and it can be lonely, but please know that the relationships you will eventually foster will be so much more fruitful than the shallow acquaintances you will brush upon if you never let people get to know the real you.

photo credit: pbs.org

Here's the flip side if you show people the REAL you and they "don't like you" then you save yourself the time and energy of investing in someone who DOES NOT WANT a relationship with you. We are grown y'all! If they don't think you are fun to hang out with - don't waste your time. There are way too many awesome people in this world who WILL want to be weird with you.. or laugh loud with you... or watch football with you... or sing in the car with you... or read nerd stuff with you... do NOT try to fit some snot rockets mold - let them find some other snot rocket to hang out with.

In the past few months I've found football friends, antiquing friends, wine a little/ laugh a lot friends, and I've figured out that there are some people in this neighborhood that I don't care if I NEVER speak to EVER in my life. I don't wish them harm or ill will ---- we just do not mix --- and that is OK. I don't have to hang out with them and they don't have to hang out with me. This isn't kindergarten, and I'm not Mr. Rogers.